it's hard not to hate.
people, things, institutions, when they break, your spirit takes pleasure in watching you bleed, hate is the only feeling that makes sense.
but i know what hate does to a man. tears him apart, turns him into something he's not, something he promised himself he'd never become ...
that's what i need to tell you, to let you know how hard i'm trying not to cave under the weight of all the awful things i feel in my heart.
sometimes my life feels like a deadly bullet in the act. what i feel against what i should do. impulsive reactions racing to solutions miles ahead of my brain ...
when i look at my day i realize that most of it was spent cleaning up the damage of the day before. in that life i have no future, all i have is distraction and remorse ...
i buried my best friend last night, maybe in my memories, maybe in the mud
as cliche it sounds, i left a part of me in that box
a part i barely knew
a part i'll never see again
everyday is a new box
you open it take a look at what's inside
you're the one who determines if it's a gift
or a coffin ...
people, things, institutions, when they break, your spirit takes pleasure in watching you bleed, hate is the only feeling that makes sense.
but i know what hate does to a man. tears him apart, turns him into something he's not, something he promised himself he'd never become ...
that's what i need to tell you, to let you know how hard i'm trying not to cave under the weight of all the awful things i feel in my heart.
sometimes my life feels like a deadly bullet in the act. what i feel against what i should do. impulsive reactions racing to solutions miles ahead of my brain ...
when i look at my day i realize that most of it was spent cleaning up the damage of the day before. in that life i have no future, all i have is distraction and remorse ...
i buried my best friend last night, maybe in my memories, maybe in the mud
as cliche it sounds, i left a part of me in that box
a part i barely knew
a part i'll never see again
everyday is a new box
you open it take a look at what's inside
you're the one who determines if it's a gift
or a coffin ...
Love and hate are one in the same: we love to hate and hate to love. Whichever choice we make will illicit an intensity of emotions which can be hard to bear.
ReplyDeleteMyssam, open that lid and let the struggle of the weight fly in the wind: let go of the notions of love and hate. Then close the lid to that box. Only open that lid when your heart is free of expectations and entanglements and your mind is ready to receive the treasurers that can be found therein.
You may chose not to open the lid to that box. In so doing, your heart will be closed off forever. Even though you are outside of that box and chose not to open it, you have made it your coffin.
Mayssam, where are you? Have you forsaken us for solitude?
ReplyDelete