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- تصویر پنجم: تیله ی آبی و جعبه ی قرمز
- تصویر ششم: ستاره های دور و بازی های نزدیک

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چشمهايش سگ دارد.
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a new chapter. boring. but it is what it is. 
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از همه چى و از هيچى - قیچی بریده های نامه های فرستاده نشده بدون ترتیب زمان و مکان


Breathe... keep breathing
Don’t lose.. your nerve.
Breathe... keep breathing
I can’t do this.. alone.

I'm a loner. I tend to go alone or keep it going, in the absence of external force. that's just physics. 

I hear voices. it's a news anchor man, talking constantly in my head. 

people who can't express themselves become sick. it's not nobody's fault. they're just sick. 

You can laugh
A spineless laugh
We hope that your rules and wisdom choke you

what a waste, I could be your lover. what a waste I could be your friend. 

we were stronger when we were kids. 

it was hard for me because I felt like I lost you. which is, in a weird way true, but I never had you to start with. and with all the shit that's going on in my life, loosing something you never had was just too much of a shock to my already broken system. heh, damn! living in my car has made me talk like a car. and now I'm thinking if living in a car could make me a car, living with you would made me a what?

it's happening again. I'm sitting still. do you think you can loose yourself? how many selves are there to loose?

best times of my life were those when I somehow could get out of myself. well ... no. that's not completely true. but you get the point. please?

I'm honest. somehow it made me asexual. and for that I love the goat cheese lady even more. btw, she is not dying anymore. her brain is fixed. and she's already lived my dream in europe. and I mean literally. 

to know if you can love somebody, just imagine them as a kid. and then watch their life, and them growing up. it's that easy. of course, the trick is you need to be able to imagine that ...

how bitter and dark I've drowned, is yet another reason there is no god. 

Pack and get dressed
Before your father hears us
Before.. all hell.. breaks loose.

I used to believe in god. for what matters I so believed in god, heaven, angels, good and evil, that when I was a kid I'd fancy myself growing up as a martyr. that was the dream when I was brainwashed. when you are a dreamer you have to, and always will dream. the dreams you live may change, but that's how you are wired. I used to have faith. and beliefs. and certainty. but somehow growing up changed that. I grow into becoming an atheist. a non-believer. with no faith. Then I couldn't believe in anything. I still believed in spirit, karma, whatever you name it, something else that I could trust but couldn't see or know. love filled the place of beliefs, but there was this uncertainty left with a big whole in my life. I was no longer a kid. I was a teen. and then I lived longer. I lived the life of an adult. it was too early too soon, for me but I had no choice. and that grow me into this hole. this vein. this uncertainty and rationality and now I think to myself, there is probably a God. we would never know, I mean, we could never really know. but even if there is a God, he doesn't care. he has better things to do. God doesn't give a shit. this whole us, he made it and went away. fate is real. and so fucking ungodly. God is real too, but so fucking irrelevant. 

you, on the other hand. you are relevant. you make up my life. 

Sing us a song
A song to keep us warm
There’s such a chill
Such a chill. 
...
Among Hapalist Letters --
Once there was an adorable little bunny that hopped and bopped through the cotton fields eating carrots all day long.
The people loved him and thought he was so fucking cute and sweet and good,
And he hated that.
He liked to eat the carrots, but that was about it.
He had seen this movie Willard about a bunch of rats who eat Ernest Bordenine and a bunch of other people, who are Mean to Willard,
Then they eat Willard because he tried to poison them.
The adorable little bunny thought this was so cool.
The bunny was tired of being cute and cuddly in the cotton field.
The bunny wanted to go north, to the big city,
And play in the garbage and scare people by slithering around in the subways and on the streets.
Bunny bunny wanted a rat tail, not a bushy cotton tail.
Bunny bunny wanted to screech, like a rat, instead of a bunny.
Bunny wanted to stop hopping; it was undignified and adorable.
And bunny wanted to be more omnivorous.
Carrots were ok but it would be so cool to eat stuff that other people would throw away.
"It would be like recycling.

It would be better for the environment." bunny would rationalize.
"People can eat carrots; I'll eat what the people throw away
I'll live inside walls and screech and if anyone ever tries to pat me again,
I'll bite them and, hopefully, give them rabies.
Oh! What a wonderful life it would be,
To just be a rat!"
"There is one thing that really bugs me about this dream, however." said bunny bunny
"It's how formulaic and pedestrian this story is. I mean, it's completely obvious that I'm going to meet some magical wizard, or find some occult book, or some rat dust, or be captured by scientists who are working on some bunny to rat gene splicing experiment or something like that. At any rate, there is no question that I will get my wish and get to live in the big city, scare some people, eat and play in that garbage, run around in the subways, till one day, I accidentally eat rat poison or get caught in a glue trap and either decide it was all worth it anyway because my dream finally did come true or otherwise feel cheated because it wasn't as much fun as I thought it was going to be. But no matter what, the rest of my life is entirely predetermined. I don't see how I can go on or how I could possibly enjoy being a rat for a single second when I have already worked out my destiny in my little bunny head. I can't think of a single reason for continuing with this charade for another second. I'm getting out now. Fuck this. Find some other bunny stooch to be your rat for the day. I'm hopping the fuck out of here, right now."
In fact, let me finish this story for you, you pathetic pedestrian hack.
Bunny bunny hopped off in a great big huff, ate 100 carrots in a row, and died of vitamin A poisoning.
The end.
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Oh Grizzly Bears save me. Oh alligator save me.
There is Shift, Plans, and Dinner. I came to you with Liars. and Drums that are not dead.

it's a fear, it is near. the shape becomes ever clear.
It bares teeth, extra sharp, that'll cut you in the heart.
It attacks really quick, try and fight it with a stick.
it's no use, give it up, this is life and this is love.

You are my alligator
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شافل رفت رو سلن دیون. فکرشو بکن!! خاک به سرم. یادم بخیر.
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تخمیم خیلی. هاردم با تمام عکسا و آهنگام به نظر میرسه سوخته باشه یا حداقل روشن نمیشه دیگه. اعصاب ندارما اگه اینا ریکاور نشن من یه چیزی رو آتیش میزنم.

الان فرض کنیم آهنگ kings of leon - the face رو و بعد آهنگ glass vaults - forget me not رو رو نووردز پست میکنم.